…who wouldn’t be caught dead reading this anyway
On the off chance you think anyone engaged in any level of positivity or self-improvement is worthless, stupid or anti-intellectual, then I’m here to get mad at you. Real mad. Because I’m a buttermilk princess! That’s my affirmation for the New Year, like it or not.
I’m a buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, princess! Take that, Willamsburg, Brooklyn!
I’m a romping kitten, I’m a unicorn mommy, I’m a lickety puppy snout, not a Taciturn Snotty. As a buttermilk princess, I’m a bruncheon queen, gonna take my pancake, stuff em up your skinny jean.
Roast a hipster on a spit near Gowanus Canal! Hipster on a spit near Gowanus Canal; doo-dee-doo-dee-doo-dee-doo-dee do do do do!
This is lovingly dedicated to my fellow New Yorkers, who understand the extremely local references. Long live Brooklyn.