Dear Cynical Hipsters

…who wouldn’t be caught dead reading this anyway

On the off chance you think anyone engaged in any level of positivity or self-improvement is worthless, stupid or anti-intellectual, then I’m here to get mad at you.  Real mad.  Because I’m a buttermilk princess!  That’s my affirmation for the New Year, like it or not.

I’m a buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, buttermilk, princess! Take that, Willamsburg, Brooklyn!

I’m a romping kitten, I’m a unicorn mommy, I’m a lickety puppy snout, not a Taciturn Snotty.  As a buttermilk princess, I’m a bruncheon queen, gonna take my pancake, stuff em up your skinny jean.

Roast a hipster on a spit near Gowanus Canal!  Hipster on a spit near Gowanus Canal; doo-dee-doo-dee-doo-dee-doo-dee do do do do!

This is lovingly dedicated to my fellow New Yorkers, who understand the extremely local references.  Long live Brooklyn.

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