What law diploma?

I had a few ideas concerning the Loosening Up of Attorneys for the Good of Humanity.  Hear ye:

  • Be on staff at a law firm. Deserve your great reputation as a valued team member.

  • Have a compartment or bin that locks. Hang on to that key. Keep it on your person.
  • Have a framed lithograph handy of a landscape painting by John Singer Sargent (a. you own it, b. it’s portable and c. it’s at work for some reason.)
  • When do people get in or leave? Look around furtively.  Survey the scene.  I say survey; you say surveil. If you’re surrounded by boatloads of litigators, then surveil it is.
  • One evening, go with a work friend to see comedian Patton Oswalt at a comedy club around the corner.
  • There could be a 2-drink minimum at said club.
    • One might need a restroom after mandatory drinking.
      • The office is without dispute around the corner.
  • After taking advantage of the beautiful facilities at work, why not remove an attorney’s coveted law diploma from the wall, lock it securely in an overhead bin, hang a landscape at a cocky angle then flee the scene?
  • I suppose one could have hung a Robert Mapplethorpe photo and made the same point. Life’s not only about billable hours, people.  Why not hold a muscular pose for a while?
Live a little
  • Move paper weights, awards, plaques, pens, a stapler and a telephone to radically different spots on an Esquire’s desk.  Be accused of fatally messing up an attorney’s discovery process for a pending matter.  Laugh and deny everything.  This will be familiar territory for the attorney.

If an attorney is, how can one be diplomatic, a white guy with photographs of his white family on display, doesn’t it make sense to sneak in a picture of a child of another race, inching her next to his kids’ photos? How much discovery has been disturbed now?

And thus the tenderizing of attorneys continues.

Unrelated photo

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